PermaLink Doing a wedding isn't all that hard.03/30/2008 09:10 PM
I'd like to know who thought up the idea that planning and executing a wedding is supposed to be so damn hard and take so much time and money.  I am midway through my second wedding and it's actually gotten easier, if only because now I know even better which people to ignore.

I can confirm that I was the person who coined the phrase "bridal-industrial complex."

For the record, I also coined the word "oldfartistic."

But in a direct tribute to Ike, in his last speech before he left office in 1961, I came up with "bridal-industrial complex" as a way to describe the tight knot of bridal shops, printers, jewelers, advertisers, "planners" and all manner of other people who just love to line up and tell you all about how you should have a wedding and really don't give a green shit about what you actually want. Unless it makes them more money to actually listen to you.

Many years ago I began work on Commando Weddings, which describes a lot of thoughts behind how to have the wedding you want and not the wedding you're supposed to want. I've never actually finished it, because I keep learning new things. Now, nearly fourteen years after I started planning my first wedding, it's amusing to go back and read that site again and recall just how much of it is still applicable.

Nora and I went out and picked some rings yesterday. Last night we picked out blank wedding invitations (and put all our printer firepower to work). Today, we went out and she found a dress. Sometime in the next week or so, I'll get in touch with the baker who did a cake for me in 1995, and see if he's up to doing it again. A baker, mind you -- a big guy covered in flour. Not a "wedding cake consultant." Somebody who prices cakes "each" and not by the number of humans who might eat it.

So almost everything is in place. We have a church. We have a place for a reception. We have a DJ (me). We have clothes, food, rings, and guests. We have an officiant. Shortly, we'll do the marriage license thing.

And that's that. Everything we need. And nothing we don't want.

I have to admit that there are a number of things I still need to talk Nora out of... she still has way too many things in her head that come under the category of "this is what you're supposed to do," and since I've lived most of my life not really giving a shit about what people thought I should do and concentrated on what I know I needed to do, there will still be some adjusting, I guess. We "should" invite the entire congregation at the church to the wedding, for example. I have no idea why, and I have never seen or even heard of this being done, and cannot for the life of me see why this should be necessary. Sure, few people are likely to sacrifice a perfectly good Saturday in May to come to our wedding, but the thing is, if even one total stranger is there and I have to spend time socializing with them, knowing I will likely never do so again, that's one too many for me.

So, some more adjustment.

Nora is also one of those people who wants to send out invitations to people knowing they probably won't be able to or won't choose to attend. I think that's kinda raw... it comes off like we're hitting them up for gifts but not their presence. I'd much rather have people there (we have enough stuff in this house already, thanks). As a result, nobody is on my list who I don't really want to have present, even though I know one of them probably won't be able to make it because travel is extremely painful for her. But I'd do whatever it takes for her to be there if she wanted to be.

Yet more adjustment.

Nora has someone I never remember meeting signed up to sing a solo at the service. I have no idea who she is or whether she can even sing. But Nora already asked her to sing, without asking me if that was a good thing or even whether I wanted anyone to sing. Unilateral action is not a good thing in planning a wedding. This is not "Nora's day." It's our collective day. Or, at least, one of them.

Where are my wrenches?

This page has been accessed 149 times. .
Blabber :v

1. ddddd10/25/2015 11:38:38 PM
Homepage: http://

[url={ Link } sunglasses wholesale[/url]
[url={ Link } air max 90[/url]
[url={ Link } jordan 4 free shipping[/url]
[url={ Link } 12[/url]
[url={ Link } beats[/url]
[url={ Link } north face jackets[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet online,coach purses,coach handbags,coach bags,coach handbags sale,coach handbags outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } bags[/url]
[url={ Link } air max[/url]
[url={ Link } york knicks[/url]
[url={ Link } shoes[/url]
[url={ Link } james shoes,lebron 12,lebron 12 shoes,lebron sneakers,lebron iv,lebron 11,lebron 10[/url]
[url={ Link } kors uk outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } watches[/url]
[url={ Link } kors uk outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } goose coats[/url]
[url={ Link } north face[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton[/url]
[url={ Link } lauren[/url]
[url={ Link } sneakers[/url]
[url={ Link } oakley sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link } mlb jerseys[/url]
[url={ Link } jordan shoes[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton handbags outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } 9 elite[/url]
[url={ Link } ban sale[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } orleans saints[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link } kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet store online,coach outlet store,coach outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } jerseys wholesale[/url]
[url={ Link } colts[/url]
[url={ Link } bay packers[/url]
[url={ Link } kors factory sale[/url]
[url={ Link } state warriors[/url]
[url={ Link } toms[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton outlet online[/url]
[url={ Link } huarache[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link } burch shoes[/url]
[url={ Link } boots clearance[/url]
[url={ Link } cavaliers[/url]
[url={ Link } ban sunglasses,ray ban sunglasses outlet,ray ban,rayban,ray bans,ray ban outlet,ray-ban,raybans,ray ban wayfarer,ray-ban sunglasses,,rayban sunglasses,cheap ray ban[/url]
[url={ Link } kors outlet online[/url]
[url={ Link } jordan shoes[/url]
[url={ Link } york giants[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } jewellery[/url]
[url={ Link } dolphins[/url]
[url={ Link } air huarache,nike huarache,nike huarache sneakers,nike huarache shoes[/url]
[url={ Link } handbags[/url]
[url={ Link } vikings[/url]
[url={ Link } sneakers[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } francisco 49ers[/url]
[url={ Link } city thunder[/url]
[url={ Link } face jackets[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } clothing[/url]
[url={ Link } kors outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } handbags[/url]
[url={ Link } clothing[/url]
[url={ Link } handbags[/url]
[url={ Link } ralph lauren outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } ugg boots[/url]
[url={ Link } balance sale[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } jewelry[/url]
[url={ Link } falcons[/url]
[url={ Link } goose sale[/url]
[url={ Link } sneakers[/url]
[url={ Link } uggs[/url]
[url={ Link } kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors[/url]
[url={ Link } bags[/url]
[url={ Link } ban sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link }
[url={ Link } hilfiger outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } kors uk[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } jackets[/url]
[url={ Link } roshe run[/url]
[url={ Link } canada,abercrombie and fitch,abercrombie,abercrombie fitch,abercrombie kids,a&f[/url]
[url={ Link } kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors[/url]
[url={ Link } jerseys wholesale[/url]
[url={ Link } hardy outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } face outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } bulls[/url]
[url={ Link } shoes,tods shoes sale,tods sale,tods outlet online,tods outlet store,tods factory outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } vuitton outlet store[/url]
[url={ Link } watches,swiss watch,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,replica watches uk,rolex watches replica,rolex watches for sales[/url]
[url={ Link } zanotti sale[/url]
[url={ Link } uk outlet[/url]
[url={ Link } goose sale[/url]
[url={ Link } outlet online[/url]
[url={ Link } hair straighteners[/url]
[url={ Link } dresses[/url]
[url={ Link } coats[/url]
[url={ Link } ban sunglasses outlet,ray ban usa,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban,rayban,ray bans,rayban sunglasses,cheap ray ban,ray ban outlet,ray-ban,raybans,ray ban wayfarer,ray-ban sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link } jackets[/url]
[url={ Link } polo[/url]
[url={ Link } oakley sunglasses[/url]
[url={ Link } makeup[/url]
[url={ Link } dresses[/url]

2. David Clark04/02/2008 04:06:16 AM

Hi Turtle
I'm the pro photographer bill made the link to:
I find your viewpoint interesting!
On your point 4 I don';t bother with programmers - I just have a near infinite number of monkeys with old dells - They'll write a heap of crap, but there might be some good code in there!
If you think a photographer just takes photos - I hope everything that you want to happen happens. Good photographers ensure that things run to time, get the guests "out of your face" and my customers always thanks me for helping their day day go well. Well, almost. One I photographed on Saturday was crap - as the couple hadn't given me idea of what they wanted, or lists of groups of freinds etc. That made me mad - and I have written to all the couples who are on my books that have yet to send details or else.
I am well aware that there are a huge amount of viewpoints - and no one is wrong (or right) . If you've asked a friend to take particular groups, tell them to be insistant - otherwise in weeks, months or years to come you don't regret missing out photos or your nearest and dearest!

3. Turtle04/01/2008 01:47:48 AM

Another seven weeks.

4. Glen03/31/2008 10:58:22 PM

I say, if she will put up with all your rules and do it your way, marry her ... QUICK !

5. Turtle03/31/2008 01:52:42 PM

Actually, if this was 2002, I'd probably get a "professional" photographer, but it's now 2008 and I will not be doing so. Several reasons:

1. I want control over the images, and I don't want to argue about it.
2. I disliked almost all the formal posed images from my 1995 wedding and the only ones I did like were the unposed shots she got.
3. It's one less person to deal with and corral when needed
4. Everyone I know owns a good, often great, digital camera, and I'm more than happy to cull out the random crap image for the bulk of them that will be pretty good.
5. I've never known a photographer who wasn't in the way at some point, and if it's a relative instead of a pro, I feel empowered to tell them to move their ass.
6. There is NOOOOOOOOOO... rule six!
7. Nae poofters!

Right. That concludes the readin' of the rules.

6. Wild Bill03/31/2008 04:50:15 AM

Two suggestions:

Really, Get a pro-photographer. For some really nice pictures, not the point and squirt shit that most people get out of their cameras. Check out { Link } (Yes I know, he's in the UK and cant come, but you'll get the idea).

Scrap the gift list, and just say 'Look, donate money to cover the service and give us a really good honeymoon.' Friends of mine did that and basically did a round-the-world on first class.

Youve' got a house full of shit - you dont need more..

Oh - and congratulations!

---* Bill

Other stuff to waste your time:
Weightless Dog
My YouTube videos
My Head Talking
Today's Poll
Recent Entries
The BlogRoll
No calendar found.
Monthly Archive
Lotus Domino ND8 RSS News Feed RSS Comments Feed RSS Validator Blog Admin Lotus Geek OpenNTF BlogSphere
Say hi