PermaLink World's First Self-Sustaining Reaction Achieved!04/01/2008 08:55 PM
April 1, 2008:  WEVERTON, MD  (AP)  Weightless Dog Labs is pleased to announce that the world's first full-self-sustaining alcesian meme reaction was achieved at 01:12GMT this morning (5:12AM EDT).

Researchers reported that the meme pile became self-sustaining approximately ten hours after initial seeding of the internet meme pool using a distributed injection model first developed at the labs in August, 2005. Despite initial concerns about an overload and potentially explosive uncontrolled chain reaction, careful use of moderating elements and meticulous distribution of injection points resulted in a smooth upward output of the memons and meme-radiation exposure of approximately 2000 test subjects.

"This was a spectacular success," reported WDL spokesman Pat McGroyne. "We exceeded our projections for sustained reaction. The crucial element was addition of the rare and volatile catalytic heavy metal weberium (periodic symbol: Vw, atomic weight 962.03) at 00:00GMT. Once our scientists noted the addition of the VwO2 weberium oxide compound resulted in an immediate upward spike in the reaction rate. After the scientists held a short celebration in the labs and went to bed, automated monitors charted the massive upward spike in meme regeneration throughout the day and into the evening, when the reaction, having consumed all the available exposure targets, appeared to level off."

Several labs worldwide, include CERN, Sandia Labs and Lawrence Livermore Labs, had tried but failed to acheive the fabled alces-alces covalent meme reaction in the past. Industry analysts contacted for this story indicated that the crucial missing element in these efforts had in fact been the weberium oxide compound used by WDL.

"It was total luck," said WDL technician Heywood Jablomie. "Had the weberium oxide not fallen into the reaction vessel totally by chance, we'd have ended up with the same results CERN had, and some guy would be suing us to prevent us creating a world-eating black hole. Thing is, we're pretty lucky, since weberium is pretty rare and almost never appears in North America, so the fact that it just sort of wandered into our reaction chamber was an amazing stroke of luck."

Further tests are planned.

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