PermaLink Ten days until liftoff01/06/2009 10:02 PM
When I was in school, I wrote all my reports the night before they were due.

It's now less than ten days until I pack up the TDI and head to Lotusphere. Do I have all the media for my strange and groundbreaking session done? Shit, no. Do I have all the guests lined up? Shit, no. Am I entirely certain how I'll pull it off? Shit, no.

Am I certain it will be amazing?

Well, yeah. Of course.

In case you've been looking for it, my session is TURT101, "The Turtle's Guide To Lotusphere." Yeah, I have my own session abbreviation, along with Libby's yoga sessions and stuff like that.

What I can tell you:

  1. You will have flashbacks.
  2. There will be airborne snacks, maybe.
  3. If the Ravens are playing the Steelers that evening, I may have to send in my stunt double, Floyd, to finish the show and do the really difficult stunts.
  4. I have two and a half hours of media to winnow down so it'll fit in the average Sphereian pre-party attention span.
  5. Steve Jobs will not be present.

Does that help?

Seriously, I do this to myself all the time. Every single time I've presented at Lotusphere, and this'll be Number 5, I've ended up doing the very last little bit of the presentation prep about ten minutes before they wired me up with the microphone and made sure I didn't have Spanish peanut skins in my teeth. And I live for that burst of energy, the adrenaline burn of knowing that if I get down to the wire and fuck it up, The Show Still Has To Go On.

Somehow, I've almost always been able to pull it off. And this year will be no exception, though I am fairly certain I will need to have Disney deliver a large tanker of Maalox to the Lotus Events Staff suite in Dolphin as the showtime draws near. Five hundred gallons, so that Kristen and Ragan can just swim in it if they need to.

But yes, it will be amazing. As the 1998 Gonzo Lotusphere Page promised, in a quote from the legendary Edgar Yoxheimer, "Like Nothing I'd Ever Seen!"
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1. Todd Carpenter01/07/2009 05:03:05 PM
Homepage: http://www.embraer.com


More power to ya Turtle! You'll do great as usual.<br><br>This will be my 11th anniversary and I still don't have the cojones to go up on stage, although I do it for work quite often. I guess it's a fear of being in front of peers and people I have looked up to for many years. Dunno.<br><br>Anyways good luck my friend!




2. Todd Carpenter01/07/2009 05:02:54 PM
Homepage: http://www.embraer.com


More power to ya Turtle! You'll do great as usual.

This will be my 11th anniversary and I still don't have the cojones to go up on stage, although I do it for work quite often. I guess it's a fear of being in front of peers and people I have looked up to for many years. Dunno.

Anyways good luck my firend!




3. Bill01/07/2009 04:40:30 AM
Homepage: http://www.billbuchan.com


Ohh yeah baby. This one will be on youtube within minutes..

---* Bill




4. Gregg Eldred01/06/2009 11:36:33 PM
Homepage: http://www.ns-tech.com/blog/geldred.nsf


Will we need to check our recording devices at the door? And can we get at few extra RFID's to up the attendance?




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