PermaLink On being durable03/31/2011 04:08 AM
I have the shell, but the shell isn't me

You know, it's amazing. When you feel like you are just completely demolished, all it takes is one more thing to put you to death.

Then again, all it takes is one thing to bring you back up swinging.

In an ideal world, all it takes is one thing or the other.

I guess I live in a more than ideal world, because I am damn mad and I have come up swinging and cussing and spitting piss and blood.

Thanks, y'all.

I learned again what I love:

  • My house
  • My cats
  • My wabbits
  • Breathing
  • The way the mountain looks in the spring when the green line rises up from the valley
  • The diesel snarling for breath under the hood when I pull it down into 3rd gear on Valley Road by the old Civil War bridge
  • Forsythia, and six weeks later, lilac
  • Playing horn
  • Good spring water
  • Dave Brubeck's 1950s recordings
  • Cast iron
  • Roast turkey
  • Brown-eyed blondes
  • Ball-busters, wherever they exist
  • Wool
  • South Mountain
  • Fred Astaire
  • The words, "I think I understand."

I am now 48 years old, a proud atheist, a lifelong Democrat and classical liberal, one who believes that together, we can do more than we could ever do separately. I also believe that we all have a right to be left alone, to be judged on our individual merits, and that everyone has a right to a second, or even third or fourth chance.

I believe in words, and I believe in forgiveness.

I believe in strong opinions, a gentle touch, and balance.

And I believe I'm not finished yet.

I also believe that all that any of us needs is to be reminded of the best things in ourselves, just once in a while, by the people who care about us.

This page has been accessed 45 times. .
Blabber :v

1. ddddd10/25/2015 11:31:35 PM
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2. Devin Olson05/05/2011 09:10:19 AM
Homepage: http://www.devinolson.net


I am now 46 years old, a proud Christian, a sometimes Republican sometimes Libertarian and right-wing conservative, one who believes that together, we can do more than we could ever do separately. I also believe that we all have a right to be left alone, to be judged on our individual merits, and that everyone has a right to a second, or even third or fourth chance.

I believe in you, and am proud to call you my friend. Don't let the assholes get you down.

felices viajes amigo!




3. Brian Benz04/07/2011 06:22:17 PM
Homepage: http://www.softwaresoapbox.com


Hey, just saw these now. Wow! Glad you're pulling it back together.
I've heard enough similar experiences,and had some experience with them myself, that I wonder if men of our age are susceptible to some sort of evolution-based self-destructive tendencies at this time in our lives. Probably studies out there, if not, there should be. Perspective should mean a lot more to us at these times, but only does when you get though it. Glad to see you're there!
Trying not to take everything , especially myself, too seriously, really works for me. Clearly separating wants (which end in disappointment all too often) from needs helps too. Life and it's wicked sense of humor has plenty of plans for us ahead, and at our age it will be over soon enough, whether we want it to be or not ;)




4. Greyhawk6803/31/2011 03:17:34 PM
Homepage: http://www.greyhawk68.com


I've been kind of unplugged a bit this last week due to business travel and whatnot, so I'm sorry I missed your first posting.

That said, I'm thrilled and proud of you that you came back swinging, because that's the Scott I know. The Turtle I know. And the person who for over a decade has been a good friend.

Keep standing tall and keep fighting for yourself, because damnit, you are worth it.

Reach out if you need anything...
Grey




5. francie03/31/2011 02:38:56 PM


love this post. keep it up!




6. Roy Rumaner03/31/2011 11:43:22 AM


Welcome back brother, we missed you.




7. Tony Lee03/31/2011 09:08:00 AM


You will learn more about yourself when things are not going well than at any other time. I like your last sentence, will remember to give this and hope to get it once in a while.




8. Lars Berntrop-Bos03/31/2011 07:58:40 AM


Welcome back!




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