PermaLink Yeah, I'm like this with wabbits, too...06/07/2011 06:23 AM
In case you thought my grumpiness was just about IBM/Lotus, well, you're wrong.

I copied this over from the "Contact Me" page for my rabbitry, the amazing South Mountain Rabbitry, which probably has more grand champions per year, per wabbit, than most East Coast rabbitries. And I have the scars to prove it. So...

Important -- read this, it will probably mean you do not have to email me for basic questions.

  • I breed Flemish Giants only. I have no other breeds, don't ask. We won't talk about Mr. Fred.
  • I breed sandy (the "natural" brown color) only. If you want other colors, ask, I can refer you to other great breeders with those colors. They're good, they're fun, I just don't do them.
  • I'm in Maryland and I do not ship rabbits.
  • I probably cannot provide you a breeding pair, because I have a small herd and the bucks and does are likely related. That's considered bad.
  • If there are no rabbits listed in my "Sale Rabbits" list, I have none now, and even if some of mine do kindle tomorrow, I will not have any for sale for at least the next ten weeks. Don't buy underage kits! No kit leaves this barn before ten weeks, so do the math.
  • I'm in Maryland and I do not ship rabbits.
  • I breed sandy. That's all.
  • I'm in Maryland and I do not ship rabbits.
  • If there are no rabbits in my "Sale Rabbits" list, I don't have any available right now.
  • I'm in Maryland and I do not ship rabbits (have you read this yet?)
  • I might consider shipping rabbits if you send me $25,000 in gold up front.
  • I really don't ship rabbits.
  • Uh, and I don't do meat rabbits or "easter bunnies," unless you have at least $100,000 in gold you can ship me first. Even then, you might not get a rabbit. But I'll be trading your gold on the Zurich exchange.

I breed Flemish Giants only. I have no other breeds and never will, don't ask.

If you'd like to ask me about upcoming litters, inquire about the rabbits, check if I'll be at upcoming shows, or just say hi, feel free to send me an email! But if you ask me something that makes it obvious you didn't read anything on this website, don't be surprised if you don't get a reply! Sorry to be blunt about it, but you'd be surprised the emails I get that ask the above questions over and over and over and over and over. Do not do it. Ask me something useful. If you do not say where you are, I will reach through your computer screen and punch you in the face and steal all the cheese in your refrigerator. I'm serious. I've done it.

If you think you're up to the task, email me at:

TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT. You've got no idea how many "I just want to ask about Flemish Giants" emails I get. Well, what about 'em? Do you have one and need advice? Do you wanna buy more? Do you want to send one up on the International Space Station so you can watch wabbit poop in zero gravity?

Ask me something useful. I cannot emphasize this enough. TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE. If you don't, the odds of me throwing your email in the trash are rather high.

Well, that, and if you ignore all the above in your email, I'll assume you're too stupid to own a Flemish. Yeah. I'm getting old, I'm getting grumpy, and the more I deal with stupid humans, the more I like my Flemish Giants. You aren't doing me a favor by buying one of my wabbits; I'm doing YOU a favor by selling you one. You will never be more tested by a lagomorph, and you will never be more enriched by any other animal you will ever meet. They are majestic and silly and friendly and grumpy and adoring, and they're not for everybody. If you're up to it, you will never be the same.

Everybody else can go buy a frickin' parrot.

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Blabber :v

1. Bart Severein06/07/2011 07:13:59 AM

Funny. And the About Us page is a test to see if the buyer is smart enough to detect white characters on a white background?

2. Finn06/07/2011 07:09:03 AM

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